Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
