I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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