I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
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Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
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I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You don't make any sense
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