I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
