He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
