I wanna passion pit in your ass
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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