The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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