My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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