i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize