So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
50% drunk capacity currently
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
