AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
