I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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