he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
