is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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