We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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