so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
