These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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