i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
