Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
