I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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