I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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