We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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