We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
