How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize