i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
