apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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