i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
