You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
