Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
