So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
