I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
