Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
