You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
