I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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