I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
