I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
