Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
