Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
