I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
