Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(571): View more from Virginia

so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(571): so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare http://tfl.nu/r7bv

Replies (21) Good night (4379) Bad night (784)
Favorite
(520): View more from Arizona

I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(520): I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children. http://tfl.nu/78i9

Replies (19) Good night (7505) Bad night (1695)
Favorite
(608): View more from Wisconsin

The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(608): The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries. http://tfl.nu/yhvv

Replies (12) Good night (6627) Bad night (1020)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing. http://tfl.nu/6g2i

Replies (17) Good night (1382) Bad night (4036)
Favorite
(415): View more from California

Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(415): Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up http://tfl.nu/w3uw

Replies (27) Good night (6183) Bad night (1139)
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store. http://tfl.nu/d1b2

Replies (12) Good night (764) Bad night (2320)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk. http://tfl.nu/h3m8

Replies (14) Good night (2423) Bad night (778)
Favorite
(701): View more from North Dakota

Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(701): Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more. http://tfl.nu/i6gm

Replies (7) Good night (1395) Bad night (646)
Favorite
(614): View more from Ohio

Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(614): Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof http://tfl.nu/erp7

Replies (13) Good night (863) Bad night (2568)
Favorite
(407): View more from Florida

we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(407): we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home http://tfl.nu/hueq

Replies (4) Good night (550) Bad night (398)
Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon. http://tfl.nu/pq1b

Replies (4) Good night (485) Bad night (924)
Favorite
(802): View more from Vermont

All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(802): All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right. http://tfl.nu/z8z5

Replies (2) Good night (867) Bad night (411)
Favorite
(561): View more from Florida

You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(561): You know I love you. I just don't love your penis. http://tfl.nu/4w11

Replies (6) Good night (483) Bad night (1256)
Favorite
(806): View more from Texas

Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(806): Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom. http://tfl.nu/zajb

Replies (2) Good night (1015) Bad night (371)
Favorite
(773): View more from Illinois

You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(773): You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night. http://tfl.nu/vj63

Replies (0) Good night (317) Bad night (464)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard