did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
