dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.