You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
sex in a hospital.. check
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.