I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis