I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish you could order shots online.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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