so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
