Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
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im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
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He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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