Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
