I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize