Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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