He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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