all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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