I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
