I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
