I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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