I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
