I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
