I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
