i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
...so i touched it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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