I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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