so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
