I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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