He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
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It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
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Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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