Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize